


Seven Chili Recipes for the Winter Soldier On The Go

by transfixme_quite



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Grocery Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-16
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-25 02:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1626017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transfixme_quite/pseuds/transfixme_quite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Diner food was a bad idea. Bucky decides some organic food is in order. Set after the events of CA:TWS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seven Chili Recipes for the Winter Soldier On The Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [requiem1by1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/requiem1by1/gifts).



> Big thanks go to my best dude friend for the title, which has nothing to do with the fic at all. I dunno why he indulges me. :)
> 
> Dedicated to my biffle. I started writing this so long ago I forgot how the idea even came about. But I finally finished it. Finally. :)

Bucky understood the concept of hunger and food.  There were many things that HYDRA thought they'd deleted from his human nature that they hadn't, and now that Bucky was all alone, simultaneously by his own doing and not, he was able to fend for himself. It was a privilege he wasn’t going to take lightly.

That didn't mean he understood why he was on the floor, metal arm clutched to his stomach to ease the pain of an ache he hadn't experienced in... probably ever. Most of the pain he'd endured in his remembered life was due to injuries in fights or being electro-shocked, and he was primarily used to those. The scant meals he received in his time as the Winter Soldier were carefully crafted and terribly bland. Their purpose was not to be delicious, but to give the Winter Soldier the nutrients he needed to keep his threatening physique, improve his already impressive metabolism, and remain the strong assassin they needed him to be.

But all that was over now, and when Bucky saw the retro diner with neon lights flashing 'OPEN' the night before, he walked right in. Greasy hamburger, potato wedges, chocolate milkshake with whipped cream and a cherry on top. He didn't quite remember what they tasted like, but there was something picking at the back of his mind telling him they were delicious. And they were. He had never (not in a very, very long time) tasted anything so full of flavour. It overwhelmed him. He ate quickly, then ordered a second round and ate slowly. He ordered a third one for the road, and went back to the hotel room he had threatened his way into.

The lethargy set in not long after he returned, and the next thing he remembered was the sharp, stabbing pain in his side that jolted him awake. He pounced into a defensive position out of reflex, thinking he'd been found, and was being attacked. No one was in the room, and he felt the stabbing pain again, crippling him to the ground. His midsection felt like it was expanding, and he wrapped his arms around himself, groaning.

That greasy diner food was a son of a dick.

\---

Bucky wasn't stupid. Once he realised he wasn't being attacked, he waited out the pain (pushed through it, breathed through it, walked through it), drank some water, and made his way to the internet cafe nearby. With his hat pulled low, he slid into the seat in front of an unused laptop, quickly opening a Google search on the browser. He watched the blinking cursor, almost taunting him, trying to think of what exactly to look up. Slowly, he pecked at the keys.

_'Healthy food’_

\---

After a few modified searches, Bucky discovered Whole Foods, a store specializing in natural and organic foods. He'd be safe from any grease there. 

He flinched as he walked into the store. No matter how many of them he encountered, automatic doors were something he would never get used to. He stood still like a statue once he entered, scanning all around him, reading aisles, watching people. He'd never been shopping before.

"You need a cart, man?" A voice from behind Bucky startled him, and he whipped around, prepared to strike. A small, blond man stared up at Bucky, with a slight smile. He gestured toward the shopping carts, and Bucky's eyes followed where he pointed. Bucky pulled his hat down over his eyes a bit more and shoved his hands in his pockets. He nodded and walked toward the carts.

"Thanks...."  Bucky noticed people near the entrance and displays moved quickly away from him. He may have been in civilian clothing now, but he was still particularly muscular, and he knew he didn't have an inviting presence. The fact that he was covering his face as much as he could without actually wearing a mask didn't help his cause either. He pulled out a cart, and turned to see the small man still standing near, but not too close, and still smiling.

"My name's Brian. Let me know if you need any help."

"Help...?" He knew what it meant. It'd just never been offered to him. He was always expected to do things on his own, or lead a team. No one ever helped the Winter Soldier.

"Yeah you know, finding anything in particular, meal ideas, whatever. Look like you haven't been in this store before, and it can be daunting. If you need me, I'll be around!" Brian popped off somewhere, leaving Bucky unsure of what just happened. Was he supposed to just yell for the man when he got lost? 

Bucky shrugged to himself and wandered into the produce section. He zipped his hoodie up a little more and began grabbing whatever looked good to him: carrots, spinach, asparagus, artichokes, cucumbers. He tossed them carelessly into the cart, hoping to find some pears and watermelon. A bright yellow bunch of bananas found their way into the cart too, when Brian turned the corner, holding plastic bags.

"These will help make carrying your produce a bit easier." Brian handed all but one of the bags to Bucky, picking up the carrots and bagging them to demonstrate. Bucky tightened his mouth, and nodded, following suit. If this was helping, it felt too similar to being given orders, but the smile on Brian's lips distracted that kind of thought. Brian reminded him of someone. Someone far away and long ago. And well, no superior ever smiled at Bucky.

Brian waved, and was gone again. Bucky found more bags, and more fruit, and carefully picked and bagged. His cart was half full already, and he thought he could eat all of it right then and there, but theft wasn't an option anymore. It wasn't even a desire, he quickly realised. He didn't know what else he could want, or what else he could even have, since the hotel had no kitchen area. Bucky wasn't sure he knew how to cook even if he had one.

Slowly, he glided out of the produce section, bypassing the body care and vitamins, glancing at the spices, and highly considering a recipe book. He picked one up, and put it back down. Too convoluted. He found cereal, noting that it didn’t need to be cooked, and grabbed a variety of boxes. Many of them declared how full of fiber they were, and that sounded like something he needed. 

Bucky was ready to leave. He didn’t think he could stand being out in the open like that much longer, and figured he had enough food for two days, at least. He turned down another aisle and almost ran Brian over. At this, Bucky became enraged. Swiftly, but quietly, he rushed into Brian’s space, looming over him angrily.

“Why are you following me?” He demanded.  

“Just looking out for you.” Brian released a heavy breath, but stood his ground.

“Why?” Bucky gritted his teeth, wanting a real answer. People weren’t this helpful and selfless. They just weren’t. His mind flashed back to his metal fist in the face of a man who refused to fight back, and he closed his eyes, shaking his head. He placed a hand on Brian’s shoulder, and took a step back. “I’m sorry.” He tried to control his inhalation, but he felt himself beginning to hyperventilate.

Brian bit his bottom lip, and tapped his foot nervously, then suddenly held up a finger to silently tell Bucky to stay where he was. Bucky dropped his head and took a deep breath, wondering how he was ever going to get by on a daily basis. Brian returned quickly, holding up a small bottle. 

“St. John’s Wort. It’s natural. I think it will help you relax a little.” Brian held the bottle out to Bucky, but stayed at arm’s length. Bucky took the bottle and looked it over, handing it back to Brian almost as quickly as it had been given to him.

“No pills.”

Brian didn’t question it, nodding and trotting away. Bucky shifted uncomfortably. He wondered how this man could still be so considerate, even after the scene Bucky just caused. 

He felt bad. It didn’t feel much different from how he’d been feeling since dragging the man who was supposed to be his best friend out of the water and leaving him on shore. It felt no different from sitting in an underground bunker, begging to be told who the man on the bridge was. It was exactly the same as when his mission looked at him with recognition and internal torment, something he couldn’t at the time return. Bucky was beginning to realise ‘feeling bad’ was all he knew.

Brian came back, holding a box this time. "Tea. This will help. It tastes good sweetened or unsweetened, so you can taste it and see how you prefer it." 

He held the box out, and Bucky stared at it blankly. There was a moment of silence between them before Brian spoke again. 

"I have a brother who was in the war. He saw a lot of shit. He didn't come back the same. We still love him, of course. But he gets scared. And when he gets scared, he defends himself when there's nothing to defend himself from. I've gotten used to it, and nothing hurts me more than that fact. I don't know your story, but I recognise the signs. I won't tell you that you'll be okay. But I will say that trying to be is the first step in getting there. That you're here at all means a lot for you." Brian bit his bottom lip nervously.

Bucky blinked, looking from the box of tea to Brian. He took the box and placed it gently in the cart. 

“Okay.” Bucky said quietly. 

“Okay.” Brian smiled and nodded, then walked away calmly. Bucky was left standing in the aisle, unsure of himself. This was not the world he knew, though he knew his experience was limited at best, through no fault of his own. There was a lot Bucky knew, but he started to realise there was so much more that he didn’t. A lot had been stolen from him. Even more that wasn’t allowed to him.

Bucky clenched his metal fingers into a fist, inhaled deeply, and pushed his cart to the front of the store. The cashier gave a funny look to the card with the menacing skull with six legs and no Visa or Mastercard insignia on it, and shrugged when it was approved. He wondered how much longer it would be active. She started to bag his groceries, when she saw Brian already bagging them in reusable totes. He gave a soft smile to Bucky, and he nodded in return.

Bucky walked through the automatic doors without hesitation, canvas bag slung over his shoulder. He kept his head up and his brim down, watching all around him for signs of trouble. There were none. There had been none for days. It didn’t make him feel any more at ease than if he could see HYDRA agents peeking around every corner. Radio silence was often as dangerous as a visible attack. At least that’s what the Winter Soldier had been trained to believe. Bucky wasn’t sure if it was true anymore. He wasn’t taking any chances.

When he arrived back at the hotel, he made the tea and began eating straight out of the bags. The fresh vegetables made him feel calm and satisfied, the tea warning him from the inside in a way he'd never felt before. He inhaled deeply, letting his limbs relax as much as his muscles would allow. He reached in for another fist full of spinach and found a folded piece of paper with a phone number on it. 

  _In case you need anything._

  _-Brian_

Bucky bit his lip, and felt his right eye watering. He gripped the paper tightly, the sound of the crumpling filling the empty room. He took a deep breath and placed it on the nightstand next to the bed, smoothing out the areas he’d crushed. Bucky didn’t know what he could need. He, in fact, needed so much that it seemed futile to try for any of it. This phone number, though, was an open door. Bucky wasn’t going to take that lightly. Bucky grabbed a banana and leaned against the headboard, heavy in thought.

\---

Brian walked into the stock room, looking around him to be sure he was alone. He pressed his number 2 speed dial, and waited. When he heard the rings end, and a click to indicate someone picked up, he shut his eyes tight and sighed.

“I found him.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, that's the end. This is it. Sorry for the vague open ending. I love you? :)


End file.
